The List

Whenever I have a big decision to make, I use The List (apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan). You know, fold a paper in half. Put pluses on one side, minuses on the other. It usually makes the decision clear. The last time I used The List, it was when the job was taking us back to Houston. When we left Houston the first time, in 1985, after 3.5 years, the plus side for leaving was long. If you're not from Houston, it usually is. But all things are relative, so after nearly 6 years in Nigeria and 5 years in New Orleans, the plus side for Houston was pretty dang good. These days, I'd be hard pressed to find any good reasons to leave where I am. Good thing I don't have to.

There are other times where The List can come in handy, Elections, for example. You have two candidates for, say, County Commissioner of a large rural county. I want to vote for the person who has the best experience in matters financial, managerial, legal, and social and who has made a significant investment in the community. This particular race is non partisan, so the party of the candidate should not be driving the decision, even though it does. I'll call my candidates Mary 1 and Mary 2. And make my list.

Mary 1
18 year resident of county
Long record of involvement on numerous local nonprofit boards, gov't task forces, college forums
Successful fundraiser for food bank capital campaign
Former legal counsel and exec. asst to the warden, federal prison in county
Former law clerk in federal district court, Portland
Two term incumbent with experience in all areas of county management
Parent of a public middle schooler
Endorsed by both area newspapers based on her record and qualifications
Ran a nonpartisan campaign

Mary 2
17 year resident of county
No record of community involvement
No history of involvement in local government
Former tv broadcaster and radio talk show host
Failed candidate for governor
Tea Bag symbol on every sign

I've left out Mary 2's activist experience. It's at state and national levels, and not really germane to the job of county commissioner. Constitution Party politics, and you know, the hot button issues that get people all revved up but don't help much when you're trying to run a county.

Now, all things being equal, I'm going with Mary 1. But then, I'm a practical person. I like my public officials to be the best person available for the job. Lord knows it takes a special person to put up with all that being a public servant entails. Full disclosure: I'd also go with Mary 1 because she's my sister. I've known her all her life. She's smart, fair, ethical, honorable, respectful of her position and constituents, able to put herself in someone else's shoes, and damn, she's funny. She's a can-do sort of person.

You would NEVER know that judging by the 'chatter' from the haters in her county. Arrogant? Nope. Bully? Uh uh. Sore loser? Hardly. Tax and spend liberal? Why, for explaining the impact on county services should state ballot tax initiatives FAIL? For voting WITH the other two commissioners for a levy to deal with the meth problem? This is all they've got. That and the fact that she called herself a goddam liberal for caring about people, publicly taking the Lord's name in vain...someone catch me while I swoon. It's nicer than some of the stuff the other side has written online. This is the same woman who held a food bank capital campaign fundraiser for her 50th birthday, and as chairwoman, did cartwheels (a feat she'd never accomplished) when it hit $1 million. When it hit $2 million just before the election, she started working on her promised back flip. Yeah, I hate her, too. She makes me look like a slug.

The result of the primary last month was a sad commentary on the voters of that county. The sheeple couldn't look past the rhetoric and voted for Mary 2 in numbers high enough to warrant a runoff in November. I hope the 60% of voters who failed to send in their ballots change their minds in November. Maybe they thought Mary 1 was a shoo-in, even though she told them not to take anything for granted. I hope the 1500 people who voted but failed to choose a candidate for commissioner decide to vote in that race in November. And I hope those who chose write ins like George Bush and Minnie Mouse realize that their votes DO matter. That the county commissioner is more important to their daily life than most of the up ballot races they do vote for. Oh yeah, one more thing: I hope they all make their own lists, then use their BRAINS to make a good choice.