Monday, January 14, 2008

Full Disclosure

Dear Hillary,

Now that I've come out of the Hillary closet, I need to come clean. My overall record for presidential election success is NOT good.

My first presidential election was in 1972, when I was a college student. The best thing I can say is, my candidate, George McGovern, won my state. Unfortunately, Massachusetts was the ONLY state he won in a landslide national vote for the soon to be doomed Richard Nixon. Four years later, I was a working gal in Rhode Island. I messed up this year, because my twentysomething brain did not think about getting an absentee ballot. I was in the middle of Georges Bank on a Polish research vessel checking on the herring stocks when Jimmy Carter was elected. I would've voted for Jimmy, and he did carry my state without my vote, so at least I didn't hurt him. The captain of the ship had the returns coming in, and the crew was joyously shouting 'Jimmy Carter! Jimmy Carter!' when he won. Fast forward to 1980. As much as I liked Jimmy, I have to be honest here and admit that I voted for John Anderson, who ran as an independent. Bad choice. Jimmy won my state, again without my help.

We all know what happened after that. The 1984 Election was a disaster. Of course I voted for Mondale and Ferraro. This time, I didn't even get to claim the high ground for my latest state (Texas). By 1988 I'd moved to California. I couldn't claim victory for voting as Rhode Island did this time, as Dukakis got whipped by Bush I. Things started looking up in 1992 and 1996. I learned my lesson about absentee ballots, and voted for Clinton from Nigeria. A MIRACLE occurred, and he won both times.

Needless to say, it's been all downhill since then. My old voting states all went the same way I did in 2000, for the winner and loser, Al Gore, but by now I was in Louisiana. Score, Bush/Cheney. It was deja vus all over again in 2004, except I'd moved into the frying pan (Texas) for this one. So Hillary, I'm not a good barometer of presidential success. In fact, my only true successes were Clinton years. Maybe that's a good omen for you…but you shouldn't count on it. I did move to Washington to have a better shot at claiming state success, though.

Sincerely,

Fenway Fran

PS: PLEASE send Bill on a trip away from the campaign trail. You can take care of business just fine. He needs a little break.

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